What if you could have an expert advisor for everyday issues?

I've been thinking about the wonderful expertise our presenters will be sharing with you online at our conference this year. I don't think there's a single one of these sessions that doesn't have something to offer me--a middle-aged (well, maybe a little more than that), long-time single divorced mom/grandmom in her own business. But you don't need to be single OR in business for yourself to get real help. We decided to call the conference "Secrets You Wish Your Mom Told You"--because most likely your mom had no clue about these things.

Even though I'm at the top of the proverbial hill (I refuse to be seen going over it), I really need to learn a secret for using networking to gain personal power. I'm terrible at networking. How about you? And as bold as I am sometimes, I would love to learn a new way to turn off my fears. I'm excited at the very idea of learning how to easily package my own existing skills and talents to make money online--even just a little. Could you use some extra money for what you already do? These are the kinds of learning you can get from these presenters.

I urge you to take a look at these classes. Read the program descriptions. Read the presenter bios--these women are top professionals, but they're also real-live women like you and me. They face some of the same junk we do everyday. But they've got powerful ideas for getting past or around or through the muck. Read, think and come get inspired--we've extended the earlybird pricing until July 27, so don't wait.

Men who love and respect women--go forth and multiply!

You know, I've been meaning to get to this all month. And today's almost the last day--of Women's History Month. Did you know there's actually a "national women's history project"? Yep, visit it and be inspired.

Women--we are such complex and wonderful creatures, are we not? Is it any wonder that there has been so much effort over the centuries to keep women out of power, out of politics, out of sight? I think it was Aristotle or Plato or one of those early wise guys who said, "If woman should ever becomes man's equal, she will quickly become his superior." Now just think how long ago that was...

With the rise of increasing numbers of independent single working women, the sight of women being strong and successful in their own right becomes ever more common.

Let us hope that the wise and loving men in our world who give women their due will spread their wisdom and multiply their kind in great numbers. And then we can look forward to the day when the new reality will no longer be considered a threat.

Book review: Missy...being single and hard luck in the old West

Reading an amazing story called Missy by Chris Hannan. It's about a "flash girl" in the gold/silver rushes of the old West. These were prostitutes who were affiliated with an establishment, as opposed to street walkers. Lots of period dialog and details. Compelling story of a young woman whose mother is a total bust-out--playing like she is a lady but being seriously drunk all the time. Abandoned her daughter at age 13.

The daughter keeps following her around the country trying to help her--because she promised her when she was 10 that she would always take care of her. The daughter is addicted--like so many people of the time, particularly women--to opium in various forms. It was a drugstore remedy available to everyone and cheap. Still the
daughter maintains a semblance of sanity compared to her mom. Many scenes of
violence described with the dispassionate voice of someone who's simply
used to it. Hard to put down.

Good reminder of some of the progress that's been made for single working women in our world.

Ghandi movie gives half a lesson

Watching the classic movie, Ghandi. Am struck by the fact that his incredibly powerful non-violent resistant efforts began in South Africa where they were highly effective because they were set up against LAWS. Yes, Indians had to carry ID cards when no one else in S. Africa did. They were required to do X and Y by law--a clear and present ruling against which they could fight.

How unlike the prejudice against single women in our society today. There are no written laws against which to stand. There are no formal regulations to contest. What single women face is only unwritten prejudices and informally sanctioned exclusions. Restricted or impossible access to loans, shame for being in need as a single mother, embarrassment at coming alone, without a "date," for a social or even a business occasion, missed opportunities because there is no man at the head of your business. The list goes on.

Even when women fought for the vote 100 years ago, both married and single women could fight alongside each other. And still the married women had the sanction of their husband's power behind them--or they risked divorce, at the time an almost impossible choice for a woman to give up the financial security (not to mention the social approbation) associated with marriage.

Elibabeth Cady Stanton was the married agitator. Susan B. Anthony was the lifetime single woman advocate. Blessedly they became closest friends. Today, the gulf between single and married is as great as it has ever been since the Victorian era and before. But the separation is more disguised because today single women have at least a greater chance of supporting themselves independently. Less room to be openly pitied--but no less room to be resented, stigmatized, ignored, or marginalized.

But then we see Ghandi turning to help his own country gain greater respect within the world community. Here is where we may take a lesson. There were no laws against being an Indian citizen. There were no laws against being strong and independent as a nation. But there was an overwhelming sense of unworthiness among the people. Ghandi said, "Poverty is the most powerful kind of violence." So that is what Ghandi began to fight--the expectations, the systemic setup against success. That is where we can find inspiration for single working women.

Today we are creating change in the world.

Reflections on changing the world

Year-end is always a good time to think about what has happened in your life and what you'd like to have happen in the future. Was reading an article in Ode Magazine yesterday and found a story about a professor at Barnard College in New York who invites local Harlem residents to sit in for free in his philosophy classes. He got in trouble with the administration, but he told them these are his friends and they wouldn't dare tell another professor his friends couldn't sit in. Cool.

Anyway, he quoted Ghandi and I think it's a perfect one for single working women, too. "Be the change you want to see in the world."

Make the choices you really want to make--not those society would have you make. The single women of today who do work they love, who pursue successful careers of all kinds, and who build caring relationships with friends and family are demsontrating that women are in charge of their own happiness.

How many children are raised by a single parent because of divorce, desertion, or death? Why should a stigma be attached to single mothers by choice? The single women of today who choose to become mothers because they have not met the right mate are courageously living out their dream. They are showing the world that healthy, happy children can come from all types of homes--as they have always done.

The single women who face medical and financial challenges and find new ways to overcome those obstacles are showing resourcefulness and courage that is an inspiration to others in this profoundly down economy.

The single women of today who live alone or caring for an elderly relative yet find joy in work, play and friendships are embodiments of hope. They personify the energy, the creativity, and the courage that are helping to make the world a better place for all.

Merry Christmas to all. May we all continue to be the change we want to see in the world.

A voice for single women of UK

Ran across this great blog today called "the F-word" and she writes a smoking article about the way society thinks of single women. Thank you editor Jess McCabe and founder Catherine Redfern for your passion and persistence in the important mission of transforming this state of affairs and letting single women come fully into their own.

May it happen in our time!

Single Working Women's Week a reason to congratulate yourself

Yep, we're just finishing up the second annual celebration of the week designated just for single working women. If you didn't do something nice for yourself this past week, why not extend the holiday--as many of us do by stretching our birthday celebrations out for weeks--and do something wonderful today? And if you have some single working women friends, call them up and remind them to be good to themselves today. Do something nice for each other!

SWWAN is proud to be a voice for the new single woman of the today. If you're reading this, you're probably one of those women. You use your strength and your passions to create a life you find rewarding. You may be an older woman taking care of an elderly parent while still holding down a full-time job. You may be a successful entrepreneur who still finds time to volunteer for a worthy cause. You may be an independent woman who struggles to make financial ends meet but doesn't mind too much because she's doing what she loves.

You may be a person with a wide circle of good friends, or someone who likes her own company best--some of us are both. You may have a child herself or may volunteer to help children. You may have a pet or not. You finds creative ways to get the touch and the sense of connection every human being needs.

We are excited about our next SWWAN Dive show. I'll be interviewing Dr. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman. She'll share insights gained while following the creative lives of the single women profiled in her book. I especially look forward to sharing what she says about how single women can support each other during illness and when growing older. Tune in to "The New Single Woman--Uncensored" on August 15 at 11:00 am Central. We'll try to make time for questions so you can call in if you like.

To all our fellow Single Working Women, seize the day and enjoy!

DOES it get better than this?

I remember once seeing a newspaper article taped to someone's refrigerator. It was a well-written article talking about a commercial that glorified a just-the-guys' weekend--can't remember if it was hunting or fishing or camping. The main thing was, they had their beer and each other. And the tagline was "It doesn't get any better than this."

The author of the article, a man, went on to say how inappropriate he thought that tagline was. He talked about his relationships with his children, and particularly with his wife, and how that's the sort of image that really belongs with a tagline like that.

I remember having a brief discussion with my father about this. And what a point of difference we had--it just showed that we were living/thinking/breathing on such different planes that it was a miracle we could ever cross the divide and reach each others' minds.

We're going to be interviewing Dr. Karen Gail Lewis on our SWWAN Dive radio show on July 17. Her book, "With or Without a Man," is a sensitive analysis of what it really means to be single. She's a professional therapist/counselor, a single woman herself, and she'll talk frankly about both the bad and the good parts of being single.

"7 Shocking Truths Every Single (or Single Again) Woman Must Know" mark your calendar to join us on that call. Her stories are fascinating, and her advice is perceptive and wise. You might already know everything she's going to say. But sometimes it's exquisitely rewarding to share your dreams, hopes, fears and joys with others.

Getting outside really IS good for you

If you were a bookworm or otherwise inclined to stay inside when you were a kid, your mom may have yelled at you to get outside and play. Turns out she was right--that being outside is literally good for your health.

Vitamin D, that elusive nutrient that's only available from sunshine and from vitamin supplements, seems to play a significant role in death rates. A study shows people tend to die sooner from all causes when their vitamin D is lower than accepted levels. How's that for a powerful reinforcement of your mom's prescription!

Plus, I read the other day about a test comparing how students' hearts behaved while doing an assignment and viewing either a) a blank wall, or b) a video screen showing a nature scene, or c) an actual window onto the same natural scene. Guess what? The only situation that proved favorable to the students' hearts was viewing the real natural scene.

Advice for every busy single working woman to take to heart. Getting outside's good for your heart.

And oh, yeah, if you're in Chicago, come join us outside when we celebrate the opening of Single Working Women's Week by co-hosting a street fair booth with SWWAN vendor Radiance Fine Jewelry. Radiance offers all SWWAN members 25% off fine jewelry repairs all year long.

Tip for busy single working women--cool reminder system

How many times have you thought, while driving your car, "oh, darn, I forgot to..."? And of course, you can't type on your cell phone (assuming you have gotten one of those with a keyboard that receives email, and if you haven't, consider doing so--it will revolutionize your life) because you're driving.

Sometimes I've called myself at my office and left a reminder message to do the forgotten thing. But strangely--or maybe not so strange because my main office phone doesn't have a flashing light or other attention-getting indicator of when I have a message waiting--I often forget to check for messages when I get back in the office. And then I don't remember to do the thing.

Sometimes I'm in bed when I think "Oh, darn..." so I have to do one of two things: turn on the light to write it on the steno pad I always keep handy--because who wants to get up at 3 am on a winter night and go dig up something to write on? Or I have to turn on the light to see the keypad so I can dial my cell phone (I keep the sound off so I don't have to hear the ding-ding reminders of tasks and appointments I haven't yet cleared) and leave a message there. But that's not foolproof--when I'm in the office I rarely use my cell phone so often don't see "message waiting" notices.

The only nearly foolproof way for me to see something is to get an email about it, because I check my email religiously many times a day. In fact, when I'm in the office I live with it open. I've tried shutting it down so I can focus on a project, but half the time I end up having to re-open it--to send a client a question, look up a previous message, etc. So email is my most-used method of communication.

SO, if you made it through all that, here's the payoff... I've found a very cool program--free--that lets you punch a speed dial key on your cell phone (or dial from any phone if you have the number), speak your message into the system, ask for a reminder, specify the time, and then quit worrying about it. Fifteen minutes before the designated time, an email will appear in your inbox with your message nicely transcribed into print! And you can even Jott friends, family, and colleagues, too.

The Jott voice recognition software does a handy job with regular speech and is pretty good at guessing spellings of names, etc. It keeps lists online and a number of other things that might be helpful for you. So visit the Jott site and download it for free.

One caveat. When you choose to send a reminder to yourself, you'll receive an email, but you'll also receive a text message--and your phone may charge you big for that. They tell me they are working on fixing that so you can opt to send only an email to yourself. So if you say, "no" to "do you want a reminder?" you won't get the email, either. Then you have to remember to log onto the Jott site to see your reminders. But if you're like me, even that can be helpful because sometimes I remember I was supposed to do something but don't remember precisely what it was, so having it somehwere-I-can-find-it is still helpful.

As for friends, family, etc., you can avoid having them get charged for a text message by simply not putting in their cell phone number when you list them as a contact. Then they will receive only an email reminder.

Sending yourself or someone else an email with your voice. Isn't that a cool trick for when you're on the road?

Now, let's see, if I want to replace the light/paper/pen thing in the middle of the night, it means I would have to start keeping my cell phone in the bedroom when I go to sleep... But then how will I remind myself to go get it when I go out?

Sigh. Guess nothing's perfect.